The Johnson Residence Hall lounge was a male-free zone the night of Tuesday, as Trinity International University (TIU) Women’s Ministry Council (WMC) hosted its third annual “Sex Talk.”
It was an intimate gathering of a few dozen female TIU students who sat in a tight circle and shared large bowls of popcorn and the opportunity for one chapel credit.
A panel of three distinct women; a Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (TEDS) Professor, TEDS alumnus and TEDS student, each told unique testimonies, identified sexual myths and tackled nine of several questions posed anonymously by way of pencil, paper and plastic cup.
Two inquiries sought out advice for remaining abstinent during long-term relationships and engagements. One that received significant attention concerned the differing affects of sexual, emotional and spiritual intimacy.
“Couples who spend a lot of private time together in prayer are often the couples who have premarital sex,” said a panel member. The same panel member said that great sex stems from great communication.
“Is it ok to talk to your fiancé about how great its going to be to have sex?” and “Is it ok to talk about sex among your girlfriends?” were two more questions pulled from the anonymous cup and read aloud by Assistant Director of Student Ministries and WMC leader Rebecca Lien.
“Yes!” a panel member answered without missing a beat, “To both.” The panel explained further that the conversations should not be intended to turn on or tease the fiancé.
“Is doing everything, but sex, ok out of marriage?” and “Is anal and oral sex permissible in marriage?” were questions that two panel members volunteered the third to answer. The panel advised that, although there are sexual acts that don’t impregnate, out of marriage they are not short of sexual sin. They added that not feeling guilty about participating in these acts does not justify them.
“We are told that the Missionary Position is the only way. I’ve read Genesis to Revelation and it’s not there!” a panel member said vaguely about sex within the marriage. The second question was never answered directly, but she said that there is a lot of sexual freedom within a marriage.
“How can you be open about your sexual history with friends without feeling judged?” was the final question pulled from the cup.
“The Restoration Program,” said Johnson Hall Residence Director Heather Harms. It is a refuge for students, designed to encourage them to approach staff, faculty, and Residence Life without fear of judgment or disciplinary action. “When we hear about your struggles, we hurt for you,” said Harms.
Students can also turn to WMC, which exists “to advocate on behalf of women, compel them to live transformed lives of worship and empower them with tools for renewing their minds.” This past semester WMC met the needs of women struggling with body-image issues by initiating a credited aerobics class. They were intimidated to work out in the Lew Student Center on their own, but were comfortable with fellow female students in a class.
“We are revamping the ministry to meet women’s needs,” said WMC member Melissa Diaz, who worked beside co-member Kara Bergman to host the “Sex Talk.” WMC is seeking applicants for next year and applications can be found online at www.mytrinity.tiu.edu via Spiritual Life and Student Leadership.
Also next year, the frequency of the gathering will quadruple and it will be renamed “At the Well,” a title that reflects Jesus’ unconditional love for the Samaritan woman as written in the Book of John.
